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Crucial Conversations

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How Sharpening Active Listening Skills Helps You Sell

Jul 17, 2019

0 min read

Hand writing the in a notebook speak less and listen more
How Sharpening Your Active Listening Skills Helps You Sell

Sometimes, becoming a better salesperson simply comes down to thinking like a customer. People like to feel they are being heard and improving your active listening skills can help salespeople quickly build rapport that is critical in gaining the customer’s trust, and ultimately making the sale. Practicing active listening techniques can help you serve the customer better while also increasing your chances of earning their business, because being a good listener helps you gather the information necessary to address their needs and overcome any concerns.

There are several active listening techniques you can use to make sure you’re keeping focus where it belongs: on the customer. But first, ask yourself why active listening skills, which seem so fundamental, are so hard for most people to master.

Here are just a few of the reasons people don’t listen well:

Talking too much: Talking puts us in the driver’s seat, in control, where most of us prefer to be, but listening lets the other person speaking briefly lead the conversation. That can be scary, but not if you think of it the right way.

Get sharp tip: While listening opens the door to the unknown, it also opens the door to opportunity. The customer might share his or her main objection. Bingo! Now you know what you need to overcome their objections and build trust. Changing the way you think about interpersonal communication is an active listening technique you can practice to improve your sales results.

Thinking ahead: While the customer is talking, it’s tempting to start planning your response. After all, what if he or she finishes speaking, and you’re left struggling to come up with a response. The problem, of course, is that while your full attention is focused on writing the perfect, cucumber-cool reply in your head, you’re missing all the invaluable information and nonverbal cues the customer is sharing.

Get sharp tip: While getting out of your own head can be one of the trickiest active listening skills to master, remember that by the time you get to unveil your perfectly composed response, it might already be out of date. The customer may have already shifted his or her interest to other topics. So instead of tuning out while you think up the ideal answer, pay attention and learn to buy yourself time in other ways. Take a deep breath before you speak or compliment the customer on his or her question. Saying something like, “that’s a really interesting point,” is an active listening technique that can give you back those few seconds you need to pull your thoughts together.

Acting like you’re listening: We have trained through social norms that listening is about nodding, smiling, making eye contact, and showing interest in what the other person is saying. The problem is, sometimes we’re so good at the “show” that when the conversation is over, we realize we haven’t really heard most of what the other person has said.

Get Sharp Tip: An easy way to improve your active listening skills is to repeat back all or part of what the customer says. This might feel silly at first, but it will force you to stop acting like you’re listening and really listen.Practicing this active listening technique can help you listen carefully to absorb more of what the customer is saying, providing you with valuable ammo and key points you can use to solve problems to address their concerns and close the sale.

Improving your listening skills isn’t easy. Getting good at active listening involves breaking deeply ingrained habits, but just like body language or facial expressions, listening can be improved by staying focused and practicing. Try some of the active listening techniques above to keep yourself present and tuned in while interacting with customers. Notice how much more information you’re able to gather about the customer. As active listening begins to pay off in the form of more sales, you may find that it will become easier as well. Eventually, you may start to see active listening as yet another essential tool your sales arsenal, a must-have interpersonal skill that can help catapult you toward your career goals!

Tackling Tough Conversations

Sep 26, 2018

0 min read

How to Tackle Tough Conversations

No one likes conflict, but the good news is that the toughest conversations can also be the most fruitful. If you’re struggling to deliver negative feedback, there are lots of things you can do to minimize tension and achieve a positive result. Check out Cydcor’s tips for making your next difficult conversation go more smoothly.

Listen and Acknowledge

When emotions are running high, it helps to remind yourself to take a step back and just listen. Make an effort to hear the other person out. Resist the urge to interject. Show that you’re listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding and reflecting back what was said. You don’t have to be in agreement in order to make the other person feel like he or she has been heard.

Stay Focused on the Issue at Hand

Don’t make a difficult conversation even harder to navigate by bringing up unrelated grievances. Keep the focus of your discussion as narrow as possible, and avoid airing out other frustrations that come into your mind while you’re talking.

Make Sure Your Words Match your Intentions

Never go into a tough conversation without putting some serious thought into how you want the other person to feel -- and ultimately, what you’d like them to do. Assuming your intention is to influence new positive behavior rather than to cut ties, you’ll want to steer clear of any language that is discouraging, accusatory or hurtful. Be careful not to sabotage what you really want to accomplish by saying what feels good in the moment.

Watch Your Tone of Voice and Body Language

Remember, it’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. Set the stage for a constructive conversation by keeping your tone of voice positive and your body language neutral. Avoid speaking too loudly, sounding irritated, sighing out loud, rolling your eyes or crossing your arms.

Don’t Exaggerate

This is where it helps to be prepared! Make your next difficult conversation go more smoothly by citing specific facts and instances, rather than making generalizations or referring to vague circumstances in the past. Avoid embellishing or using words like “always” or “never,” which are bound to trigger a defensive response.

Keep an Open Mind

This one’s tough. As human beings, we’re not generally good at realizing we’re wrong. But do the best you can to consider the merits of the other person’s point of view. Perhaps there are circumstances you didn’t know about or facts that weren’t clear before. You never know, maybe you’ll see things differently by the end of the conversation.

Focus on What’s Next

Once you’ve addressed where you’d like to see change, shift the focus of the conversation to the future. Put on your problem-solving hat and delve into a constructive conversation about how both parties will behave moving forward, and ideally, how you can work together to achieve a positive outcome.

Do you have your own tips for tackling tough conversations? We’d love to hear! Share them with Cydcor on social media.

6 Mistakes to Avoid When Giving Feedback

Mar 21, 2018

0 min read

Hand gestures of a businesswoman and businessman in meeting.
6 Coaching Mistakes to Avoid When Giving Feedback

Helping employees perform at their best is exciting, but it isn’t always easy. Well-meaning mangers can sometimes counteract their own efforts by approaching employee coaching the wrong way. Giving feedback constructively can be invaluable to employees' career growth and can help them develop critical skills they will carry with them as they ascend toward roles of greater responsibility. Through thoughtful coaching—and by avoiding the leadership pitfalls below—you can help set up your employees for long-term success.

Here are six of the most common mistakes managers make while giving feedback:

Mistake #1: Not Giving Feedback at All

It’s human nature to want to be nice and avoid rocking the boat. Few of us relish conflict, but giving feedback directly is critical for your employees to be able to improve themselves. They need your help recognizing where they have fallen short, as well as their areas of success, in order to grow and reach their potential. Without that information, they are likely to continue along the same path.

Mistake #2: Letting it Pile Up

Because providing constructive criticism is uncomfortable, some managers wait until there is a laundry list of issues that need to be corrected before they set up meetings to coach employees. This is unfair to the employee, because he or she may have no idea that they were doing anything wrong, and now they face a long and overwhelming list of errors they must correct. Delays in giving feedback set up employees for failure. Instead, check in frequently with your employees to let them know how they are performing and how they are pacing against the objectives for their role.

Mistake #3: Not Setting Clear Expectations

Employees should not have to be mind readers when it comes to what is expected of them. Coaching employees effectively includes working with them to clearly define what success looks like for their role. Having well-defined goals and expectations gives the employee the opportunity to plan ahead and maintain control of their own progress. With increased clarity comes faster, better results.

Mistake #4: Giving Vague Feedback

When offering your employees constructive criticism, make sure to always be specific and offer examples. If you tell your employee, “I really need you to learn to write better,” it will be very hard for the employee to correct or improve the behavior—what exactly does “better” mean? Instead, say something like, "Before you turn in reports, please make sure to proofread for spelling and punctuation errors. Your last report had several errors, which could have been avoided with a little more time and attention paid to accuracy.” Giving feedback of this kind lets the employee know exactly what you are referring to and what they can do to improve.

Mistake #5: Doing All the Talking

Mentoring and coaching employees should be a two-way process. Employees should be given the opportunity to explain themselves, ask questions, and provide ideas. By speaking with, rather than at, employees, leaders gain perspective and allow employees the opportunity to clarify feedback and solutions necessary to correct their performance missteps.

Mistake #6: Prescribing Solutions

You’ve been around the block, and you probably have great ideas to help your employee improve his or her performance. At the same time, no one solution is right for everyone. While your ideas will certainly be helpful, they should be offered as suggestions rather than directives. Allowing employees to devise their own plans of action also helps them learn to be more self-sufficient going forward, and enlisting their help encourages them to look at problems from a different angle.

When employee coaching is done in a positive and collaborative way, managers find that employees become eager for feedback rather than fearful of it. Great coaching empowers employees by providing clear paths to success and opportunities to build on their strengths.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan & Al Switzler

Aug 26, 2013

0 min read

Title: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Author: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Review by: Gary Polson, CEO

Description of the book: How do you approach a touchy, but important, subject with someone at home or at work without damaging the relationship?

This has always been a challenge for me, and for most people I know. Because we are afraid the conversation will damage the relationship we tend to avoid it or dance around the issue, which in the long-term is more damaging.

Why should you read this? People need to learn how to communicate efficiently and productively. An effective conversation starts with first understanding what you are trying to accomplish with the conversation. Do you want to show who is boss? Win an argument? Shame them? Defend yourself? Dump your uncertainty, anxiety on them?

My favorite part: The objectives of crucial conversations are to:

(1) Get facts
(2) Learn
(3) Build the relationship
(4) Get a productive result

If I focus on this and not on any emotions, anxieties, etc., it will go well. I try to avoid these conversations when I am upset or have strong emotions. It makes it about me rather than the four objectives. Is it a good time for them? I try not to be the coach to yell at the kids in the outfield to “keep your eye on the ball” right after they drop it. They are too embarrassed and self-shaming to listen to coaching at that time.

Timing is important.

The basic outline that often works is a 3-step approach.
1.Give the facts (no one can dispute real facts)
2.I wonder… (express your concern)
3.“How do you see it” (get their perspective)

I start with the belief that I do not know. I just have a hunch. Also, I try not to be accusatory and have a calm tone. “Why would an intelligent, reasonable person do this” is a good mindset.

“Joe, I observed when you were talking to Cindy that you interrupted her three times in the conversation; I noticed you interrupted Juan twice when he gave his side of the story. I am wondering if interrupting people is a reason you are struggling building your team. What is your perspective?”

Then LISTEN.

Categor(y)(ies): Development, Corporate Culture

Crucial Conversations

Sep 24, 2010

0 min read

Cydcor-Book-Review

How do you approach a touchy, but important, subject with someone at home or at work without damaging the relationship?

This has always been a challenge for me, and for most people I know.  Because we are afraid the conversation will damage the relationship we tend to avoid it or dance around the issue, which in the long-term is more damaging.

An effective conversation starts with first understanding what you are trying to accomplish with the conversation?  Do you want to show who is boss?  Win an argument?  Shame them?  Defend yourself?  Dump your uncertainty, anxiety on them?

I learned at the “Crucial Conversations” class, given by Vital Smart that the objectives of crucial conversations are to:

(1)  Get facts
(2)  Learn
(3)  Build the relationship
(4)  Get a productive result

If I focus on this and not on any emotions, anxieties, etc., it will go well. I try to avoid these conversations when I am upset or have strong emotions. It makes it about me rather than the four objectives. Is it a good time for them?  I try not to be the coach to yell at the kids in the outfield to “keep your eye on the ball” right after they drop it. They are too embarrassed and self-shaming to listen to coaching at that time.

Timing is important.

The basic outline that often works is a 3-step approach.

  1. Give the facts (no one can dispute real facts)
  2. I wonder… (express your concern)
  3. “How do you see it” (get their perspective)

I start with the belief that I do not know.  I just have a hunch.  Also, I try not to be accusatory and have a calm tone.  “Why would an intelligent, reasonable person do this” is a good mindset.

“Joe, I observed when you were talking to Cindy that you interrupted her three times in the conversation; I noticed you interrupted Juan twice when he gave his side of the story.  I am wondering if interrupting people is a reason you are struggling building your team.  What is your perspective?”

Then LISTEN.