We all want to get ahead, and figuring out what’s keeping your goals out of reach can be tricky. It takes asking a lot of important questions and making sure all the pieces are in place to ensure your success. You’ll want to be sure you’re getting the right training, connecting with the best possible mentors, and working for a company that positions you for growth. But, don’t forget to take a good hard look where it matters most: yourself. Your attitude and the way you approach life, your job, and the people around you can be the critical factor that decides your fate. Luckily, your workplace attitude is the one piece of the puzzle entirely within your control. All it takes is accepting responsibility for the role your attitude plays, along with a willingness to change.

Here are 10 easy ways to change your attitude for the better:

1. Stop Complaining: Everyone complains from time to time, but a nonstop stream of complaints gives the impression of someone who’s constantly dissatisfied. While it’s normal to be occasionally frustrated when things don’t go your way, nonstop complaining shows an unwillingness to take action on your own behalf. If you’re miserable in your job or hate where you live, ask yourself what you can do to change your circumstances.

2. Banish Excuses: If you have the bad habit of justifying your own behavior, you’re missing a lot of opportunities for growth. Only by being accountable for your own mistakes can you hope to learn from them. Taking ownership is necessary to improve your performance in the future.

3. Assume the Best: Instead of adopting a can’t do workplace attitude, be optimistic and focus on what you can do. If you assume things will not go your way, why would you try at all? Your negative assumptions could be keeping you from taking risks and trying new courses of action, which could produce exciting and unexpected results.

4. Stop Sweating Everything: When everything bothers you, and you’re almost always angry and  stressed out about something, all that tension drains energy you need to be great at your job. Getting caught up in your emotions also prevents you from being able to objectively look at situations to try to understand why problems occurred so they can be avoided in the future.

5. Own It: If you spend a lot of time explaining why things are not your problem, you’re also missing the opportunity to take credit when things improve. Passing the buck may protect you in the short term, but it cheats you out of chances to grow and take on positions of greater responsibility.

6. Learn to Compromise: It may seem like you’re standing behind your beliefs, but people who never compromise can make collaborating with others a miserable or even impossible process. What you call your independence or strong mindedness could be preventing you from making valuable contributions to team projects, or you might be derailing the team’s efforts altogether. Instead of drawing a line in the sand, strongly state your concerns, but listen to other ideas as well. The best course of action is often somewhere in the middle.

7. Embrace Questions: When people question you, it can feel like they’re doubting you. The reality may be that they are just seeking clarity or shedding light on a detail you overlooked. Questions from others can help you provide critical support for your own ideas, which could bolster your argument and give your proposals a better chance of being approved. Instead of bristling, welcome questions with open arms.

8. Stop Jumping to Conclusions: You call yourself decisive, but others would call you impulsive. While overthinking every situation could slow you down, not thinking at all before you speak or act can mean overlooking the potential consequences. Try to tame your kneejerk reactions, by taking just a few moments to cool down and think about how your response might be perceived by others.

9. It’s Okay to Be Wrong: You associate making mistakes with weakness, but nobody can be right all the time. Refusing to admit that you might have made an error or might not fully understand something, doesn’t make you look smarter; it often does the opposite. People who don’t acknowledge their errors appear not to know they have made them.

10. Celebrate the Achievements of Others: When others around you succeed, it can feel like it’s hurting your own chances for success. The praise others receive sometimes makes you feel invisible. But you might be overlooking how your colleagues’ successes contribute to your team’s overall growth. Instead of resenting their achievements, appreciate the way their stellar performance inspires you to up your game.

It’s never fun to admit that you might be the source of your own problems, but taking responsibility for your own workplace attitude is an essential step to overcoming those hurdles. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, take an honest look at yourself and your interactions with others, and make a list of areas you’d like to improve. Write down tangible actions you can take to avoid being viewed as having a bad attitude at work in the future. You may even want to ask your coworkers how they perceive you. While their impressions may be hard to hear, their outside perspective is likely to offer insight into behaviors you weren’t even aware of. Understanding the problem is the first step toward being able to fix it.

Title: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Author: Stephen R. Covey

Review by: Vera Quinn, COO

Description of the book: These “Seven Habits” express a simple yet compelling idea: To be effective, we must adopt a principle-centered, character-based approach. We must work from the “inside-out,” guided by the habits that correspond with each stage along the “Maturity Continuum.”

Why should you read this? My copy of Stephen R. Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is signed by the author and constantly referenced. Most noticeable is that it is dog-eared, and well worn,—a sign not of neglect, but rather of its indispensability and enduring appeal over the years. I find its ideas as relevant and meaningful today, as when they were first introduced over 20 years ago.

At whatever stage along the path to maturity we may be, the “Seven Habits” offer us a powerful framework to solve problems, maximize opportunities, enrich relationships and continually learn and grow. For over two decades, the “Seven Habits” have given us the tools to create the lives, livelihoods and relationships we most desire—effective, productive and purposeful.

My favorite part: One passage in particular always strikes a chord:

“…[I]f you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.”

What resonates is the premise that we must look within to find the change we seek and to become our best selves. We must first earn self-mastery and develop great character—what Covey calls achieving the “private victories.” Only then, can we achieve the “public victories” of teamwork, cooperation, communication, social recognition and influence. And to sustain this success, we must internalize “Seven Habits” that embody fundamental principles at the foundation of true effectiveness, such as fairness, integrity, honesty, dignity, service, quality, potential and growth.

Categor(y)(ies): Development, Entrepreneurship, Business Management

Spring is a season of renewal and growth—and with that season nearly upon us – now is a perfect setting in which to reflect on our progress during the first few months of the New Year: how we’re tracking on our personal and professional goals, commitments and development plans.

At this timely moment, we’ve reached Covey’s seventh habit of effectiveness, “Sharpen the Saw.” In the spirit of reflection, it seems fitting to consider this final habit in the context of all the others before it.

“Sharpen the Saw” is a Quadrant 2 activity (important but not urgent) requiring time, initiative and pro-activity. It makes all the other habits possible when we practice self-renewal and self-improvement in four areas.

The first three are closely related to Habits 1, 2 and 3—the principles of personal vision, leadership and management. The fourth focuses on Habits 4, 5 and 6—the principles of interpersonal leadership, empathy and creative cooperation:

 Physical: Caring effectively for our physical bodies through exercise, nutrition and stress-management

Spiritual: Renewing our commitment to our core values through spiritual reading, study and meditation

Mental: Honing and expanding our minds and discipline through education, reading, visualization, planning and writing

Social/emotional: Strengthening our relationships through service, empathy, synergy and good character

Habit 7 teaches us how to maintain a balance among these dimensions so that we can reach higher levels of understanding and effectiveness in our lives and relationships. According to Covey, it's all about preserving and enhancing our most important asset—ourselves—so that we can do and be our best:

By centering our lives on correct principles and creating a balanced focus between doing and increasing our ability to do, we become empowered in the task of creating effective, useful, and peaceful lives...for ourselves, and for our posterity.

Exercising the 7 Habits on a path of continuous growth and renewal helps us become more principled, more purposeful and more productive in ways that make a positive impact not only in our lives, but also in the lives of those around us. It’s a powerful lesson and aspiration for all of us—one I hope you’ll embrace, as I do.

– Vera

The term “synergy” is often the fodder for jokes, ridiculed as corporate jargon that’s overused and abused in offices everywhere. But I hope you’ll suspend cynicism for a moment and consider the word’s intended meaning, as described in Covey’s sixth habit, “Synergize”:

“Synergy works; it's a correct principle. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality—it is teamwork, team building, the development of unity and creativity with other human beings.”

Jargon aside, there’s nothing more thrilling than the feeling that comes with belonging to a team that’s totally in sync, whether in sports, at work or at home. Together, we’re stronger, better, more creative and more productive. We understand and value our individual differences, strengths and perspectives and use them to create something greater and richer. We solve problems cooperatively by focusing on common goals. At our best, we find a third “win-win” alternative—a better solution than we could have ever obtained on our own. And when we just can’t agree, we compromise out of mutual respect, rather than become angry, defensive, manipulative or vindictive—the surest way to lose. Finally, we can weather the ups and downs in our relationship, having built enough trust and good in our emotional bank accounts with one another.

If you think this all sounds naïve or too good to be true, I assure you it’s not. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. It’s magical when it all clicks, and everything just flows—communication, ideas, insights and opportunities. You feel powerful and empowered—as if you could accomplish anything with the people to whom you’re emotionally and intellectually connected.

All the other habits have prepared us for the sixth habit of “synergy.” Habit 6 also teaches us that just as true effectiveness lies in our relationships—where creativity is the most potent—the power of the habits lies in their “synergistic” relationships to each other. We should use them together not only to expand our effectiveness, but also to open new possibilities in every aspect of our lives.

– Vera

How many of us have had days where we can’t quite see eye to eye with anyone? A fight with our spouse or kids. A confrontation with the boss or a coworker. A business deal gone sour.

In my experience, it often boils down to communication or rather, poor communication. We talk at or over each other. Or if we can’t get a word in edgewise, we bide our time to interject our opinions and tit-for-tat responses. Or in anger and frustration, we say or do things we later regret and can’t take back.

But who really wins here? No one. As Habit 4 points out, adversarial conflict without a mutually beneficial resolution can quickly become a “lose-lose” proposition and a sure way to fail.

To reach “win-win” solutions in our interpersonal relations, we should look to Covey’s fifth habit: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Habit 5 teaches us how to listen with the intent to understand, not to listen with the intent to reply. Effective listening is not simply echoing what the other person has said through the lens of our own experiences. Rather, it’s listening sincerely with our ears, eyes and heart. It’s listening with empathy to understand the other person emotionally and intellectually. Only then can we seek to be understood.

Covey uses the Greek philosophy of ethos, pathos and logos to describe the sequence for effective communication at the heart of Habit 5:

• Ethos: Establishing personal credibility, integrity and competency—character that inspires trust
• Pathos: Listening with empathy; understanding others’ feelings and points of view
• Logos: Explaining with logic and reason; considering all known facts and perceptions

Following this sequence allows us to present our ideas clearly, specifically, visually and in the context of the other person’s perspective and concerns. And in doing so, we significantly increase not only the credibility of our ideas, but also their positive influence and impact.

– Jim

In business and in life, we talk a lot about winning in the context of competition or contests—of beating others to show we’re better at something. Winning means that someone else loses. It’s a “zero sum game.”

While a “win-lose” proposition has its time and place, I’ve found that most situations require a different approach. I recall something Coach John Wooden, a great man and influence in my life, once said: “Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.”

Sure, winning can prove that we’re good or even the best at what we do. But to win in a meaningful and lasting way, we need to have character. For me, this means finding “win-win” opportunities that rely on cooperation and collaboration, rather than on competition and contests.

Covey’s fourth habit tells us just this—to “think win-win” by seeking mutual benefit from our interactions. While the first three habits are about mastering the “private victory” of independence, Habit 4 moves us into the realm of “public victories” or interdependence. It’s about developing effective interpersonal leadership, which is fundamental to all successful relationships.

Covey, like Coach Wooden, says that character is the foundation of winning. People and organizations with a “win-win” attitude have three key traits:

• Integrity: Sticking with their true feelings, values and commitments
• Maturity: Expressing their ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for others’ ideas and feelings
• Abundance mentality: Believing there’s plenty for everyone

By practicing Habit 4, we can be true winners who work cooperatively with others to achieve mutual solutions, satisfaction and success. In situations where we can’t achieve a “win-win,” we must have the integrity, maturity and conviction—the character—to walk away agreeably without burning bridges. “Win-win” or no deals, rather than “win-lose” or “lose-lose” deals, are the best ways to be effective in our lives, work and most valued relationships.

– Gary

New Year‘s is a time to reflect on things we want (or need) to change, from getting fit or quitting smoking to getting a better job or spending more time with family. It’s a time to replace bad habits with good ones and to follow through on them.

How many of us, however, have made our resolutions with the best of intentions, only to break them weeks or months later? Perhaps more urgent matters crop up that consume our energies, leaving us too exhausted for anything else. Or perhaps we get discouraged with our progress and lose our desire and resolve to carry on. Whenever I face just such a dilemma, I look to Covey’s third habit, “Put First Things First,” for perspective and guidance.

While Habit 2 is about self-leadership, Habit 3 is about self-management. Leadership defines the "first things,” and management is the discipline to carry them out in accordance with our core principles. “Putting first things first” means we have the will to do something when we don't want to; to say “no” to some things (even seemingly urgent things); and to act on our values, rather than on impulse. Simply, it means focusing our time on what’s truly important.

According to Covey, we can spend our time in four ways:

• Quadrant 1: Activities that are both urgent and important (crises and problems)
• Quadrant 2: Activities that are important but not urgent and require more initiative and proactivity  relationship building, goal setting, planning and preventive maintenance)
• Quadrant 3: Activities that are urgent but not important (others’ priorities and expectations)
• Quadrant 4: Activities that are neither urgent nor important (time wasters)

Habit 3 tells us to spend most of our time in Quadrant 2, to minimize our time spent in Quadrant 1 and to stay out of Quadrants 3 and 4 altogether. In doing so, we pursue our highest priorities—the relationships and results that matter. Our crises would then become more manageable because we’re proactively doing the things that prevent them from happening in the first place.

For me, “putting first things first” is not only a habit of effectiveness, but also an act of integrity to our commitments and purpose. By honoring both, we position ourselves to seize the right opportunities at the right time—ones that can enrich our lives and livelihoods in the New Year and beyond.

- Vera Quinn

“To Begin with the End in Mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.”

The second habit of effectiveness, “Begin with the End in Mind,” is a favorite of mine. Covey points out how easy it is to get caught up in climbing the ladder of success only to discover that it’s leaning against the wrong wall. Effectiveness doesn’t depend solely on how much effort we expend, but on whether we expend the effort on the right things—something I’ve tried to remember in my personal and professional life.

To be effective, we must first be self-aware and critically examine how we view others and ourselves. Then, we must imagine or visualize our life’s purpose, which must be centered on a core of unchanging, “correct” principles. Finally, we must bring it into physical being, guided by our conscience and values. Doing so successfully allows us to demonstrate personal leadership, which means we take control and responsibility for our own lives.

My involvement with charities is one example of how I’ve applied Habit 2. The core principles of family, community and philanthropy underpin a personal mission to help those who are less fortunate, to give back to the community and to inspire compassion in others.

According to Covey, developing just such a mission is one way to begin with the end in mind. It focuses us on what we want to be (character) and do (contributions and achievements) and on the principles that guide our being and doing. When we ensure every decision and action is congruent with that mission, we practice Habit 2 successfully and become more effective people—and leaders.

Jim Majeski

There are a lot of aspects to Habit 1, Be Proactive.  The most important aspect to me is that “if there is a will, there is a way;” whatever I need to improve about myself, I can with discipline and humbleness.

Constant self-improvement has been vital for me to be successful in my business and personal life.  I had to improve on a lot of things.  Many of them were quite hard.

Initially, my biggest obstacle was my speech.  I had a speech issue as a child and went to speech therapy until I was about thirteen years old.  When I quit, the doctor was concerned that by quitting it would jeopardize my ability to get a job which required speaking.

If I let myself believe that limit on myself, I would have been too afraid to go for my business dreams.  My mentality was that no one can put limits on me, but me.  I was dedicated to improving my speech and building my confidence in conversing with people.

Everyone has things to improve about ourselves.  Proactive mentality and action will do it.

Gary

My copy of Stephen R. Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is signed by the author and constantly referenced. Most noticeable is that it is dog-eared, and well worn,—a sign not of neglect, but rather of its indispensability and enduring appeal over the years. I find its ideas as relevant and meaningful today, as when they were first introduced over 20 years ago.

One passage in particular always strikes a chord:

“…[I]f you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary greatness of character.”

What resonates is the premise that we must look within to find the change we seek and to become our best selves. We must first earn self-mastery and develop great character—what Covey calls achieving the “private victories.” Only then, can we achieve the "public victories" of teamwork, cooperation, communication, social recognition and influence. And to sustain this success, we must internalize “Seven Habits” that embody fundamental principles at the foundation of true effectiveness, such as fairness, integrity, honesty, dignity, service, quality, potential and growth.

These “Seven Habits” express a simple yet compelling idea: To be effective, we must adopt a principle-centered, character-based approach. We must work from the “inside-out,” guided by the habits that correspond with each stage along the “Maturity Continuum.”

Habits 1 (Be Proactive), 2 (Begin with the End in Mind) and 3 (Put First Things First) make up the private victories that move us from dependence on circumstances and other people to greater independence, self-reliance and personal accountability. These first three habits help us build the character base from which we can progress to interdependence, the stage when we cooperate and work successfully with others to attain “public victories” that are greater than anything we could accomplish independently. All of the Habits are just that, habits and principles that we can incorporate in our daily lives through discipline.

Habit 7, “Sharpen the Saw,” makes all the other habits possible through self-renewal and continuous improvement. This habit focuses on balancing the doing with our ability and capacity to do, so we preserve and enhance our most valuable asset—us.

At whatever stage along the path to maturity we may be, the “Seven Habits” offer us a powerful framework to solve problems, maximize opportunities, enrich relationships and continually learn and grow. For over two decades, the “Seven Habits” have given us the tools to create the lives, livelihoods and relationships we most desire—effective, productive and purposeful.

Each of the Seven Habits will be the topic of our blog for the next several weeks. Focusing on these is in itself a good habit.

-          Vera Quinn